Do you go to hell if you get divorced?

God’s mercy reaches every part of a life, including the end of a marriage. Whatever wrong was done on either side can be confessed and forgiven, and God’s care for you continues through the divorce and beyond it.

Can a Christian remarry after divorce?

Yes, in most churches. The ELCA, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), the United Methodist Church, and the Episcopal Church allow remarriage in church after a civil divorce, and the Orthodox churches permit a second and even a third marriage. The ELCA says those who remarry may be assured of the Gospel’s freedom to begin again in joy and hope.

Can divorced people take Holy Communion?

Yes. The mainline churches welcome divorced and remarried people to Holy Communion. The ELCA’s 2009 sexuality statement encourages divorced people to remain in the communion of the church, assured of God’s presence, forgiveness, and healing.

Is it a sin to divorce an abusive spouse?

Abuse breaks the marriage covenant, and God wills your safety. The ELCA calls the church to find safe haven for all who are at risk within a marriage, and the Episcopal Church’s church law tells clergy to protect the safety of everyone involved before they attempt any reconciliation. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

What do Orthodox Christians teach about divorce?

The Orthodox churches oppose divorce and teach that marriage is a lifelong commitment, but out of concern for the salvation of their people they permit a divorced person to marry a second and even a third time. They call this economy (in Greek, oikonomia), a merciful exception to the general rule, and the service for a second or third marriage has a penitential character.

Is Divorce a Sin? What the Bible Says

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin, and the mainline churches, including the ELCA, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), the United Methodist Church, and the Episcopal Church, allow divorced people to remarry in church. Divorce always involves broken promises and real loss, and Jesus spoke sharply against men who discarded their wives. The Bible itself allows divorce in some cases, and sometimes ending a marriage is the faithful choice. No one is required to stay in an abusive marriage.

If you are being hurt by your spouse, you are free to leave, and God wills your safety. In the United States you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

If you are facing divorce, or living with one in your past, you may be carrying grief, shame, and a fear that God has turned away from you. Scripture shows a God who stays near the brokenhearted, protects the abandoned and the endangered, and makes new beginnings possible. Every divorce involves broken promises and real loss, and Scripture takes that loss seriously. The mainline churches allow divorced people to remarry in church, and the Orthodox churches allow remarriage too.

Does God hate divorce?

The line “I hate divorce,” found in many English Bibles, comes from the prophet Malachi, who was writing to men of Judah who were abandoning their wives. He accuses them of breaking faith with “the wife of your youth,” though she is “your companion” (Malachi 2:14), and he links divorce with violence (Malachi 2:16).

The Hebrew of Malachi 2:16 is difficult. Its opening words, ki sane shallach, read literally “for he hates sending away,” that is, divorce. Many English Bibles take “he” to be God and translate “I hate divorce.” Others, such as the World English Bible and the English Standard Version, take the verse to describe the husband: “the man who does not love his wife but divorces her … covers his garment with violence” (Malachi 2:16, ESV). On either reading, Malachi condemns husbands who throw away “the wife of your youth,” and he links that betrayal with violence. The prophet is defending abandoned women, and his words stand on the side of anyone who must escape a violent spouse.

What did Jesus say about divorce?

The Law of Moses allowed a man to give his wife “a certificate of divorce” if “he has found some unseemly thing in her” (Deuteronomy 24:1). In Jesus’ day the rabbis argued over what “some unseemly thing” meant. The Mishnah, the collection of rabbinic teaching compiled around 200 CE, records that the school of Shammai allowed divorce only for sexual wrongdoing, while the school of Hillel allowed it even if a wife burned a dish, and Rabbi Akiva allowed it if the husband found a woman more beautiful (Mishnah Gittin 9:10). Under that law only a husband could issue a divorce.

The Pharisees asked Jesus to take a side in that debate: was it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? Jesus answered by going back to creation, where God made humanity male and female and the two become one flesh, and he concluded, “What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart” (Matthew 19:3–6).

Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce “because of the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8), and that a man who divorces his wife and marries another “commits adultery” (Mark 10:11). Matthew’s Gospel records an exception, “except for sexual immorality” (Matthew 19:9), which Mark’s Gospel does not include.

Jesus’ teaching was a defense of marriage and of wives. In a world where, by one school’s reading, a man could dismiss his wife for a burned meal, Jesus refused to treat her as disposable. Christians should take his words with full seriousness: marriage is meant to be lifelong, and no one should enter it or leave it lightly. Jesus’ words are also an ideal spoken to a hard-hearted world, and the church has always had to apply them to marriages that sin has already broken.

Does Paul allow divorce?

Yes, in at least one case. Paul repeats Jesus’ command that married couples should not separate (1 Corinthians 7:10–11). Then he adds a ruling of his own for Christians married to unbelievers who want to leave:

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called us.

1 Corinthians 7:15, NRSVUE

Paul’s exception shows the church applying Jesus’ teaching to a real situation that Jesus had not addressed. The Law of Moses did something similar for wives. It said that if a husband withheld a wife’s “food, her clothing, and her marital rights,” she “may go free without paying any money” (Exodus 21:10–11). Scripture’s concern is for faithfulness and for the person who is wronged. A marriage in which one spouse is abandoned, neglected, or endangered has already been broken by the one who abandons, neglects, or endangers.

Is it a sin to leave an abusive marriage?

God wills your safety. Abuse is a grave violation of the marriage covenant, and the person being abused did not cause it. The ELCA’s 2009 social statement Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust says that “particular care must be taken to support and find safe haven for all who are at risk within a marriage.” The Episcopal Church’s church law says that when a marriage is in trouble, the duty of the clergy is “to act first to protect and promote the physical and emotional safety of those involved and only then, if it be possible, to labor that the parties may be reconciled.”

Forgiving an abuser, if you come to that, never requires living with him or her again; see Do I have to forgive someone who hurt me? The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788) can help you plan for safety.

Can divorced Christians remarry in church?

In the mainline churches, yes. The ELCA, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), the United Methodist Church, and the Episcopal Church all allow divorced people to marry again in church, and each leaves its clergy free to decline to perform a particular marriage.

The ELCA says that the church “does not treat divorce lightly,” but that in some cases trust has been so deeply damaged that a marriage must legally end. It encourages divorced people to remain in the church, and it says those who remarry “may be assured of the Gospel’s freedom.”

The Orthodox churches oppose divorce and teach that marriage is a lifelong commitment, yet they have long allowed remarriage as an act of oikonomia (“economy”), a merciful exception to the general rule made for the good of the people involved. A divorced Orthodox Christian may marry a second and even a third time, and the service for such a marriage has a penitential character, acknowledging the loss of the first marriage while blessing the new one.

Some Christians hold a stricter view and do not allow remarriage after divorce except in narrow cases, because they take Jesus’ words in Mark 10:11 as a binding rule for the church. They are guarding something real, the lifelong promise of marriage, and their faithfulness to Jesus’ words deserves respect even where other churches apply those words differently.

What should I do if I am divorced and feel guilty?

Bring the guilt to God just as it is. If you broke promises, confess that; if you were wronged, grieve that. Most divorces hold some of both, and God can receive all of it. God forgives, and God heals what you cannot fix yourself; see Will God forgive me? A priest or pastor can help you sort out what is yours to repent of and what is not, and your church should welcome you as you are.

The end of a marriage can feel like the end of the life you had hoped for. Scripture promises that God stays close in exactly that place:

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Through the prophet Isaiah, God spoke to exiles who had lost nearly everything: “Behold, I will do a new thing” (Isaiah 43:19). Whatever comes next for you, God goes with you into it.